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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344000">Juicebox Baby</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azumodeus/pseuds/Azumodeus'>Azumodeus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Coming of Age, Friendship, Fuck Canon, Hanging Out, Humor, I write bleach now, Ichigo n Orihime n Chad are all together, Idiots in Love, Multi, Nakama, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, Slice of Life, and then Orihime is with Tatsuki and Keigo is with Ichigo, as are Chad n Orihime n Uryu, but not Ichigo n Uryu, but not the rest, just not my cup of tea, occasional minor oc, that's a lot but it works in my polyam brain, thats so many relationship tags, there's so many relationship tags but its not even necessarily about romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:47:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azumodeus/pseuds/Azumodeus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>-----------------------------------</p><p>Juice box baby<br/>My mom tells me I'm lazy<br/>But it's 'cause you make me hazy<br/>My head's spinnin' like crazy<br/>Juice box baby<br/>Got me feelin' like a lady<br/>Givin' me these butterflies<br/>All things seem rosey through my eyes</p><p>-----------------------------------</p><p>What if the Karakura kids spent more time being kids and less time doing the dirty work of powerful dead people? spent more time to falling in love?... more time using their powers to fuck with people?<br/>After a certain point in Bleach you begin to lose the sense of "these are human teenagers" so that's why I'm here, to hopefully fill in a few gaps, explore their powers, and possibly even their friendships</p><p>-----------------------------------<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Abarai Renji &amp; Inoue Orihime &amp; Ishida Uryuu &amp; Kuchiki Rukia &amp; Kurosaki Ichigo &amp; Sado "Chad" Yasutora, Arisawa Tatsuki &amp; Inoue Orihime &amp; Kuchiki Rukia &amp; Kurosaki Ichigo, Arisawa Tatsuki/Inoue Orihime, Asano Keigo/Kurosaki Ichigo, Inoue Orihime &amp; Ishida Uryuu &amp; Kurosaki Ichigo &amp; Sado "Chad" Yasutora, Inoue Orihime/Ishida Uryuu/Sado "Chad" Yasutora, Inoue Orihime/Kurosaki Ichigo/Sado "Chad" Yasutora</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Loveable Haunting PT 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yes the implication is that Tatsuki is taller than 5'1 because making her short was a major sin on Kubo's part, and this is MY canon</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Orihime and Tatsuki hear a rumour about a haunted, abandoned hospital, and employ Ichigo and Rukia to "help"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a dark and stormy night... actually it was the middle of the day in Karakura High School, and it was nice and sunny out, not a cloud in the sky</p><p>Chad, Ichigo, and Uryu all gathered on the roof, Keigo was off sick and Mizuiro was… somewhere</p><p>Ichigo was talking aimlessly about the new book he was writing, something about a vampire-baker… or something</p><p>and then, all of a sudden, the door to the roof swings open with a crash, all heads turn...</p><p>and out pops Orihime, holding a box of bread and gasping for breath like she'd just run a marathon, with Tatsuki trailing behind</p><p>She scans the area, locks eyes with Ichigo, places the box on the ground and begins storming towards him</p><p>"wha-" he tried to speak before she grabbed him by the shoulders and began shaking him <em>vigorously</em></p><p>"SOIWASWALKINGTHROUGHTHEHALLSWITHSOMEBREADBECAUSEIWANTEDTOGIVESOMETOYOUGUYSANDIOVERHEARDAKIYAMAANDKITAGAWAFROMTHECLASSNEXTDOORTALKINGABOUTANABANDONEDHOSPITALTHATSGOTGHOSTSINITAND-"</p><p>she was interrupted by Tatsuki putting a hand on her shoulder "Hey, hey, settle down, you'll break his neck like that"</p><p>Orihime looked back at Ichigo, who had gone limp and was deliriously mumbling something</p><p>"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" she yelled, letting go of Ichigo, he plopped to the ground like a sack of flour</p><p>"Its okay..." he said, defeated</p><p>Chad went over to pick Ichigo back up and prop him up against the fence, he offered him a bottle of water, Ichigo took the water and nearly downed the whole thing</p><p>Uryu piped up "so what's this about a haunted hospital, you said?" he tilted his head and squinted at Orihime, still trying to process what she'd said</p><p>She took a deep breath, everyone else shuffled back, fearing the same fate as Ichigo, who is still floppy and receiving treatment from Chad but looking a <em>tiny bit</em> better</p><p>“so I was bringing some bread up to you guys because I got too much and wanted to share it, and as I was walking up here I went past Akiyama and Kitagawa from the class next door” she took yet another deep breath “and I overheard them talking about the old abandoned hospital, the one that burned down?”</p><p>“yeah?” Ichigo said, looking a lot better</p><p>“well Kitagawa said she heard noises coming from one of the rooms on the top floor, and saw a window shatter, and that she wants to go check it out but needs Akiyama to help her because she's afraid to go alone” she continued</p><p>Ichigo looked at her suspiciously “...what’s this have to do with us?”</p><p>Orihime rubbed her hands together with a devious grin “you’ll see! And can you get in touch with Rukia, too? I haven’t seen her in a while and want her to join us”</p><p>“wait what why <em>us</em>-”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>A few days have passed since then, Orihime sent a vague text to the new group chat... "haunting hoes" with a date and time to come<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“ohhh my god” Ichigo looked up at the hospital</p><p>it was dark, dilapidated, and <em>looming</em> over them, the area around is overgrown and has begun taking over the building, most of the windows were either boarded up or smashed and there’s graffiti covering the majority of the it, someone’s clearly been hanging out around here, there’s a bonfire, smashed bottles, cigarette butts, and a solitary, dirty red camping chair</p><p>he looks over at Tatsuki and Orihime</p><p>Orihime is wearing a traditional sailor style school uniform with knee length bike shorts underneath, has her hair in a messy ponytail, and an almost comically tiny brown bag at her hip</p><p>and Tatsuki is in a white button down, red tie and black slacks, with a set of keys attached to one of her belt loops</p><p>and Ichigo? In his usual shihakusho, with one of his dad’s lab coats draped over his arm</p><p>the conversation replayed in his head, “could you also maybe steal one of your dad’s doctor coats?” he remembers Tatsuki saying.. and “make sure you’re like, a ghost for this” but they <em>still haven’t told him what’s going on</em></p><p>“so nobody actually explained to me what we’re-”</p><p>he’s cut off by the familiar sound of a screen door sliding open, and the whistling of a hell butterfly and… Rukia, the doors disappear behind her, and she stops to pose dramatically, hand on the hip and all</p><p>“Rukia!!” Orihime screams with joy and runs over to give her a hug</p><p>Rukia opens her arms wide and gives Orihime a big hug, Orihime picks her up and spins her around a few times before they fall over in a giggling pile</p><p>Ichigo turned to Tatsuki “so wha-”</p><p>“did you bring the coat?” she interrupted</p><p>“yeah, but-”</p><p>“okay good, can you hand it over?” she interrupted <em>again</em></p><p>he hands it over, disgruntled</p><p>Rukia and Orihime stood back up and brushed themselves off, Orihime clears her throat</p><p>"now that we're all here, let's go over the plan" she said</p><p><em>"finally"</em>  Ichigo grumbles, earning him a kick in the shin from Tatsuki</p><p>he yelps and Tatsuki gestures to Orihime</p><p>Orihime went over to some of the overgrowth and pulled a box out of the shrubs to use as a stool</p><p>"So what I was thinking was, since Akiyama and Kitagawa are going to be exploring this abandoned, not actually haunted hospital, I've decided to... mess with them a little bit" Orihime continued</p><p>"wait <em>what</em>" Ichigo exclaims</p><p>"I'll let Tatsuki continue" she said, hopping off the box to make room for Tatsuki</p><p>"Thank you" Tatsuki takes her place on the box</p><p>"After Orihime had the talk with you all about the hospital, she sent me here to scope out the area, and I found no signs of any ghosts or even a hollow" she continues</p><p>"So that's how we figured out that Kitagawa was lying, Orihime had suspected that she had a crush on Akiyama for quite a while now, and he absolutely loves anything spooky, so since she was lying about a haunting and asking him to go with her... she thinks this is an attempt to ask him on a date"</p><p>Rukia wolf whistled</p><p>Tatsuki continued "so Orihime has decided to do some matchmaking!"</p><p>Rukia looks on with pride, Ichigo looks terrified of what's to come</p><p>"W...what do you mean by... '<em>matchmaking</em>'?" he asks</p><p>Tatsuki gestures to Orihime</p><p>"Thank you Tatsuki, so I read in an article that if you go through a scary situation with someone and then make it out alive together, you're more likely to fall in love!"</p><p>Ichigo felt his heart sink, and was immediately sorry for the two lovebirds, about to be victims of whatever Orihime's plan is... at this point it can't be good</p><p>"So I've decided that we're gonna haunt the place!" She exclaims</p><p>Ichigo held his head in his hands, and Rukia clapped with sparkles in her eyes</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Lovable Haunting PT 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cut dialogue from this chapter:<br/>-<br/>Orihime, to Ichigo: so how good are you at acting?<br/>Ichigo: I was in the theatre club in junior high so-<br/>Tatsuki: fuckin nerd<br/>Ichigo: you be quiet<br/>-<br/>Aina, somehow got on the topic of Ichigo’s love life: There was also this… uhhh… Kuchiki? That he was always skipping class with, but she disappeared after a while, I wonder what happened between them<br/>Ichigo and Rukia fake gagged in unison</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"so why couldn't you have asked Ishida to go with you... or even Chad? why me specifically?" Ichigo questioned</p><p>"Hehehe... I thought about this!" Orihime exclaims "I spent a lot of time planning <em>everything</em>, I chose you because Sado and Ishida can be seen by normal humans! and the only ones we want being seen are me and Tatsuki"</p><p>Tatsuki piped up "I would like to mention that Ishida <em>did </em>make and design the costumes for us, he made Orihime's uniform and designed mine, I already had almost everything and figured I could <em>borrow</em> one of your dad's coats, so he wasn't <em>completely</em> useless"</p><p>“and Sado has band practice today! It’s really important because he’s got a show in a few weeks and of course you wouldn’t wanna miss out on that!” Orihime added</p><p>“… If you insist” he grumbled, accepting his fate</p><p> </p><p>then, the bushes behind them started rustling, and they could hear friendly chattering</p><p>“oh shiiit” Tatsuki whisper-shouted</p><p>“it’s go time!” says Orihime, she casts santen kesshun and lifts herself and Tatsuki up and out of sight</p><p>“meet you up here!” she shouts cheerfully as they fly through one of the top floor windows</p><p>Ichigo curses under his breath and hides behind a nearby tree</p><p>Rukia just stands there, unbothered, and turns to where he’s hiding and makes a point of yelling really… really loudly</p><p>“THEY CAN’T SEE YOU, DUMBASS!”</p><p>“SHUT UP” he chucks a stick in her general direction</p><p>“THEY CAN SEE YOU CHUCKING THINGS AT ME THOUGH” she shouts back</p><p>their squabbling is interrupted by the two poor, poor not-literal-souls who just emerged from the bushes</p><p>Ichigo had heard of them from Orihime because apparently they hung out sometimes, but had never actually seen them so he didn’t know what to expect…</p><p> </p><p>Akiyama… something… he couldn’t remember his given name… apparently he was a fan of all things ghost related…uhhhhh KAUTO! His name was Kauto, Akiyama Kauto, he was short, pale, and kinda skinny, he had messy black hair with blue streaks, and was wearing jeans and a tshirt for a band Ichigo had never heard of, with a leather jacket over top and a camera hung around his neck… Ichigo hopes the camera can’t pick up ghosts, or he’s busted</p><p>he was slightly more familiar with Kitagawa, he thinks her name is Aina? Kitagawa Aina, they were in the same club in junior high, she’s <em>really </em>tall with tan skin and wavy medium length brown hair, the front strands <em>were </em>dyed pink but now they’ve faded out a bit, she’s got a fair bit of muscle on her, too</p><p>she’s wearing light blue overalls with a white shirt underneath</p><p> </p><p>“ahhh its so cold out tonight..” Aina said, awkwardly playing with her hands</p><p>“Yep its the perfect night to go GHOST HUNTING!” Kauto shouts enthusiastically, not catching on to the fact that this was supposed to be a date</p><p>he quickly moves his hand to cover his mouth “oops” he whispers, “don’t wanna scare the ghosts away”</p><p>“… scare the... <em>ghosts?</em>” Aina tilts her head and looks at him like he’s got 3 heads</p><p>“yeah if you’re too loud you can scare them away, they’re kinda skittish” he continues</p><p>Rukia starts laughing <em>h</em><em>ysterically</em></p><p>“AAAAA that’s a good one!!” she hunches over and slaps her knee</p><p>Ichigo starts snickering… he clearly can’t see ghosts</p><p>“do we even <em>need</em> to make this ‘date’ any worse? It looks like they’re doing a good enough job by themselves” Ichigo says while giggling</p><p>“dude dude dude dude dude that’s not Orihime’s intention, she wants them to end up together!” Rukia tries to find her composure, its in pieces on the floor</p><p>“you sure? It sounds a lot like she just wants to fuck with em”</p><p>“… yeah totally, but its something to do on a friday night!”</p><p>“alright… then should we head in?” Aina said, still awkwardly fidgeting</p><p>“yup!” Kauto skips happily towards the front entrance, it’s mostly made of glass, he tries to open it, the door won’t budge, he pushes, pulls, nothing</p><p>he kicks it, it doesn’t budge</p><p>“damn…” he begins looking for another way in</p><p>“do you think its the ghosts keeping it shut?” Aina suggests</p><p>“maybe… I don’t think they want us here” he replies</p><p>“its just jammed” Ichigo adds, even thought they can’t hear him he’s still going to be making snarky comments</p><p>Rukia giggles menacingly</p><p>“...what?”</p><p>“watch this!” she says, dashing over to the only non boarded up window on the ground floor, picks up a rock from the ground, and smashes the glass</p><p>Kauto yelps and jumps behind Aina</p><p>“I guess they do want us inside” he muttered</p><p>Aina looks back at him</p><p>“… so you’re not as brave as you said you were” she remarks</p><p>Kauto stumbles over his words for a minute, before puffing his chest out</p><p>“I just didn’t wanna get cut by the glass!”</p><p>“if you insist~” she says with a teasing, singing tone</p><p>“ooo we’re GETTING SOMEWHERE” Rukia yells</p><p>she hops through the window and gestures for Ichigo to do the same, Aina and Kauto follow shortly after</p><hr/><p>Orihime and Tatsuki hop off the shield into one of the hospital rooms</p><p>“alright lets get started~” Orihime says</p><p>“so... remind me what the plan was for this room, again?” Tatsuki asked</p><p>“it’s simple, really” Orihime did a twirl and pointed dramatically</p><p>“we’re gonna make this room look like a secret lab!”</p><p>“and I take it I’m the mad scientist?” Tatsuki added</p><p>“yup! Kurosaki and Rukia should buy us enough time to make this nasty looking room look like a semi-functional lab!” she continues</p><p>“… I’m beginning to wish we had Sado here…” says Tatsuki, looking at the scorched room, there’s a few tables and chairs that have been flipped over, and a bunch of broken glass</p><p>“you wanna hear the story I came up with for the ghosts??” Orihime hopped and waved her arms in the air</p><p>“Sure, go ahead” she said, Tatsuki’s eyes were practically giant hearts at this point, she starts picking up the larger bits of glass as Orihime begins talking about her plan</p><p> </p><p>“So the idea is the fire was caused buy an experiment to create human/ghost hybrids!” Orihime continued on whilst picking up some of the chairs and figuring out which ones are the least ruined “and you play the mad scientist, Dr. Mizuno! Mizuno Hayate!” she roots through her tiny bag to pull out…… a broom, and begins sweeping up the smaller pieces of glass</p><p>“sounds good, how are you gonna make sure they don’t recognize us? We go to the same school y’know”</p><p>“I thought about that one too! Here, watch this!” she roots through her bag again</p><p>“… are we gonna address the bag?” Tatsuki asks</p><p>“Nope!” she says cheerfully, as she pulls out 2 pairs of black glasses from her bag</p><p>“stick these on!” she hands a pair to Tatsuki</p><p>they both put the glasses on</p><p>“oh and this!” Orihime goes through her bag again and pulls out a small hair tie</p><p>“so what role are you playing?” says Tatsuki</p><p>Orihime begins tying Tatsuki’s hair back, she’s cut it recently, just above the shoulders now</p><p>“I’m the test subject! I keep phasing in and out of reality because of an experiment that went wrong, and now Dr. Mizuno feels bad and is trying to fix it!” she lingers draped over Tatsuki’s shoulders for a while</p><p>Tatsuki plants a small kiss on her cheek, they both turned a bright shade of red</p><p>“OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYLETSKEEPMOVING” Orihime stumbled over her words and picked the broom back up</p><p>“yeahyeahyeah” Tatsuki pushed a desk into the corner and put one of the chairs next to it</p><hr/><p>Aina and Kauto had been wandering the ground floor looking for the stairs for a while now, they’d already tried the elevator but of course, it didn’t work</p><p>Ichigo and Rukia have also been following them doing random spooky stuff, Ichigo knocking things over and Rukia thoroughly enjoying chucking around and kicking stuff just barely out of sight</p><p>“are you finally getting the hang of this whole ‘haunting’ thing?” Rukia asks</p><p>“I guess….” Ichigo replied, chucking something down a hallway in an attempt to lure the two humans towards the direction of the stairway, they passed a map on the wall a while ago but were too focused on the floor and each other to notice it</p><p>Kauto jumped</p><p>Aina peered around the corner</p><p>“The stairs!” she exclaims</p><p>“<em>Finally”</em> Ichigo muttered</p><p>“Hey you found them!” says Kauto, raising his hand for a high five</p><p>Aina, on the other hand, went for a fist bump</p><p>Kauto then switched to a fist bump</p><p>and Aina to a high five</p><p>Ichigo kicks over a bin, Rukia is on the floor, groaning</p><p>they noticed that even the “ghosts” were frustrated and settled for a weird handshake-fist-bump-combo</p><p>Rukia picks herself up off the floor, and they all head down the corridor towards the stairwell</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there's gonna be 3 parts to this one, we're almost there</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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